Posted on by Steve

Blueprints – God’s Design for Men, Women, and the Home

Part 2

This is the second part of a two-part series entitled, “Blueprints – God’s Design for Men, Women, and the Home,” intended to highlight the separate and unique design God has for men and women. Part 1 covered individual gender responsibilities and how those responsibilities look within a Christian marriage. In part 2 we will discuss gender identity, God’s intended design for the two distinct genders, and how those genders are designed to function within the community and the church. It is my hope that through discussions of cultural, religious, and political positions, in light of God’s Word, Christians may confidently live their lives for Christ without apology and navigate through difficulties of this world.

Gender Confusion

Before anything is discussed at length, let me first ask, does anyone actually believe that one’s sex and gender can be different? Of course not. If people are honest, they know these are synonymous terms. The professed belief that genders are ‘fluid’ is simply a lie that the depraved mind indulges in (Romans 1:24-27) because “…their thinking became futile, and their foolish hearts were darkened.” (Romans 1:21, NIV) No one actually believes a biological man can be a woman, or a biological woman can be a man, unless of course they are delusional. The recent dramatic increase of the word ‘transexual,’ and the irrational demand to accept and affirm this demonstrably fictitious lifestyle, is nothing more than a popularization of non-conformity, exacerbated by the normalization of perversion. Put simply: it is socially acceptable, increasingly popular, and actually encouraged to be weird, dishonest, and perverted. It also enables one to live a homosexual lifestyle with a reduced sense of conviction, as they are continually affirmed, encouraged, and supported to live in sin by a popular culture that is wicked, perverse, and hostile to Christ.

The population is being inundated by anti-Christian cultural influences (peers, social media, employers, celebrities, movies, video games, TV shows, politics, etc.) that exacerbate the individual’s own wicked desires, in order to confuse, conflate, and pervert God’s distinctively designed genders and devalue the pinnacle of God’s creation- mankind. Even many churches have been influenced by the world regarding gender and sexuality to one degree or another. But this is not new to civilizations.

When in Rome …

The first century Christians were living through a very similar situation in Rome and the citizens behaved in much the same way ours do today: “They know the truth about God because he has made it obvious to them. Yes, they knew God, but they wouldn’t worship him as God or even give him thanks. And they began to think up foolish ideas of what God was like. As a result, their minds became dark and confused. So, God abandoned them to do whatever shameful things their hearts desired. … they did vile and degrading things with each other’s bodies. That is why God abandoned them to their shameful desires. Even the women turned against the natural way to have sex and instead indulged in sex with each other. And the men, instead of having normal sexual relations with women, burned with lust for each other. Men did shameful things with other men, and as a result of this sin, they suffered within themselves the penalty they deserved. Since they thought it foolish to acknowledge God, he abandoned them to their foolish thinking and let them do things that should never be done. Although they know God’s righteous decree that those who do such things deserve death, they not only continue to do these very things but also approve of those who practice them.” (Romans 1:19,21,24,26-28,32, NIV)

Scripture clearly shows that people know the truth; they simply decide to reject it and live their own sinful life. And once God is rejected and sin is embraced, the mind become ‘dark and confused’ and there is no certainty in life- no value, no purpose- only ‘foolish thinking.’ An individual’s uncertainty of their identity, purpose, and value will lead to confusion about a great many things, even their sexual orientation and gender. And living any sort of unrepentant sinful lifestyle will increasingly separate an individual from God. This is evidenced in society’s acceptance and promotion of sinful gender-associated societal movements that have driven people further away from God, such as the feminist movement, sexual promiscuity (free love), homosexuality, crossdressing, and gender confusion. Every culture in human history that has widely accepted sexual perversion (homosexuality in particular) has quickly descended into further embracing the evils of polygamy, group sex, rape, incest, pedophilia, bestiality, and even sexual-related mutilation of children and infanticide (this is even more barbaric and gruesome than you can imagine). This has always led to the collapse of a society. Every single time. And if world history is any indicator, without God’s intervention, America is headed for a very violent and cruel future.

Gender Dysphoria

The genuine insistence to identify as a gender other than your biological sex is actually quite rare and is a serious mental disorder called Gender Dysphoria (also known as transsexualism and gender identity disorder). It is still listed in the DSM-IV (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, fourth edition) as a serious mental disorder in which one is literally delusional about their gender. The disorder is diagnosed, in part, when the patient presents, “a strong and persistent cross-gender identification (not merely a desire for any perceived cultural advantages of being the other sex).” This strong persistence is measured in years, or even decades, and is not influenced by culture. They were ‘trans’ before it was popular and will likely suffer from their delusion their entire life.

Treatment for someone who suffers from delusion never includes reinforcing that delusion. Never. Imagine a psychiatric patient that believes he is a superhero and insists he can fly. Perhaps he identifies as Superman and demands that everyone calls him Clark Kent. You would do everything within your power to change his flawed ideation and delusion, not reinforce it. Your case plan management and treatment team would prioritize revealing his true identity because his safety and wellbeing is your responsibility. Under no circumstances would you ever open the window so he could try to fly! But that is exactly what this world is doing right now. They are taking advantage of the weak and vulnerable to promote this perversion of God’s design and they bully, shame, punish, and extort anyone who may push back against this wickedness.

Ultimately, the ones who are harmed the most are the ones already suffering from identity uncertainty, same sex attraction, and gender confusion. In fact, research shows that transgendered people who have had sex reassignment surgery had a suicide mortality rate later in life that was roughly twenty times higher than the non-transgendered population. Twenty times higher! To continue the previous analogy, they are effectively opening windows all across the world, handing out capes, and then celebrating when people jump to their destruction. What is worse, most of the victims of this perversion are children who will have permanent physical and emotional trauma for the rest of their lives, if they survive their multiple suicide attempts. This is child abuse of the highest order and, in this life or the next, those who promote this transgender lie and child abuse will be held accountable. Believe that.

Gender Affirming Care

True ‘gender affirming care’ is not lying to someone and promoting confusion of harmful delusion. And it certainly is not allowing young children to mutilate their genitalia and sexual organs to try and become something they are not. Gender affirming care is embracing the way that God has made someone and affirming their individual value as unique, special, and precious to Him.

Gender is not assigned by your parents at birth; it is assigned by God, even before conception (Jeremiah 1:5). He crafted you in the womb as a work of art and put you together for a special purpose, just the way you are (Psalm 139:13-14). You do not have to change who you are or pretend to be someone you are not in order to find your identity, value, and purpose. God gives you all of that. You are already special enough for God to sacrifice Himself for you- tortured, mutilated, and murdered on a cross- in order to offer you a way out of hell. And He has a unique purpose for your life that is specifically designed for you- just you. That’s your identity: chosen by God. I’d say that’s the best kind of affirming care you can ask for.

Shifting Gears

Now that we have seen how God established two distinct genders, each with their own unique gifts, roles, and responsibilities, and how those individual responsibilities contribute to the home and community, we turn our attention to ecclesiastical matters and see how they apply within the church.

Leadership Requirements within the Church

From one cultural hot topic to another, we will now delve into what the Bible says regarding leadership requirements within the church, including gender. Hold onto your pew.

Character Requirements

Leading lost men, women, and children to Christ and shepherding, teaching, and correcting the body of Christ is a great honor that comes with great responsibility. As such, there is a very high standard of character and conduct for church leadership. In first and second Timothy, Paul writes to his young understudy with instructions and advice in pastoring his newly established church at Ephesus. The following are some of these requirements taken directly from 1 Timothy 3:1-13:

  • A church leader must be a man whose life is above reproach.
  • He must be faithful to his wife.
  • He must exercise self-control.
  • He must live wisely.
  • He must have a good reputation.
  • He must enjoy having guests in his home.
  • He must be able to teach.
  • He must not be a heavy drinker.
  • He must not be violent.
  • He must be gentle.
  • He must not be quarrelsome.
  • He must not love money.
  • He must manage his own family well, having children who respect and obey him. For if a man cannot manage his own household, how can he take care of God’s church?
  • He must not be a new believer, because he might become proud, and the devil would cause him to fall.
  • People outside the church must speak well of him so that he will not be disgraced and fall into the devil’s trap.
  • He must be well respected.
  • He must have integrity.
  • He must not be dishonest with money.
  • He must be committed to the mystery of the faith now revealed.
  • He must live with a clear conscience.
  • He must be closely examined (tested by others in authority).

There are also additional requirements for the church leader’s wife:

  • In the same way, their wivesmust be respected
  • They must not slander others.
  • They must exercise self-control
  • They must be faithful in everything they do.

As I said, this is a very high bar for anyone. Notice also, Paul exclusively used the word, ‘he’ for church authority.

Gender Requirements

First and foremost, an individual church’s position on gender requirements for leadership is not salvific theology (theology related to salvation- the deity, person and works of Jesus and His work of redemption for mankind) and, therefore, should not break fellowship with fellow believers who may disagree. There are plenty of genuine Jesus-loving Bible-believing Christians who disagree on this position. Just as there are many genuine Jesus-loving Bible-believing Christians who disagree on infant baptism, communion, gifts of the Holy Spirit, eternal security, and a whole host of other Christian theological positions. So, don’t let a disagreement about non-salvific theology break fellowship. (However, if someone doesn’t believe Jesus is God or that His life, death, and resurrection alone is sufficient for salvation, they just are not Christian, plain and simple, and are not within Christian fellowship.)

Three Camps

Some churches accept the practice of female authority within home, community, and church (to include pastor, priest, elder and/or deacon), and others do not. The three primary positions are called egalitarianism, complementarianism, and patriarchal. Patriarchal churches stress that, although men and women are equal in dignity, they are gifted for different roles. Egalitarianism is more liberal and has no gender-based limitations. And Complementarianism attempts to split the difference and allow female authority in some areas, but not in other areas.

Egalitarianism

Christian egalitarianism (also known as evangelical feminism) is a byproduct of European political egalitarianism, born out of the French Revolution of 1789-1799. The French word ‘égal,’ means ‘equal’ or ‘level,’ and was first used in English in the 1880s. Egalitarians believe that there are no gender restrictions on what roles men and women may fulfill in the church, home, and within the community. Husbands and wives share equal responsibility and authority for all aspects of societal life. Denominations that are usually egalitarian include Pentecostal, Assembly of God, Foursquare, Nazarene, Episcopalian, some Evangelical, Free Methodist, Friends, some Mennonite, some Presbyterian, United Methodist, and Wesleyan.

Patriarchal

Patriarchs believe that men and women are equal in dignity, yet gifted with distinct roles in marriage, family, the church, and the community. The name literally means “father rule” and has been the Christian understanding of authority for thousands of years. Both genders work together and contribute their God-given natural abilities to make a more beautiful picture of the home, the church and the community. This view holds that masculinity and femininity were created by God as meaningful human distinctions, assigned to their respective genders (masculinity to men, femininity to women) by God for an important purpose. When these gender-specific roles are embraced, they will lead to the best possible physical, mental, and spiritual wellbeing for the individual believer, for the Church, and for the entire society in which they live.

In patriarchal marriages, men have the role of headship and bear the responsibility of the family, and as such, should not be under the authority of women. A man is to love and sacrifice for his wife, just as Christ did for His Church, and the wife is to submit to her husband as the church submits to Christ. Men are to sacrifice everything, up to their own life, for the holiness and spiritual wellbeing of their wife, reflective of how Christ sacrificed for His bride (the Church). If men treated their bride as Christ treats His, every decision would be made for her spiritual benefit, even when she disagrees. Consequently, the wife would want to lovingly submit to the husband’s authority out of respect for him because she knows the decisions made are what is most beneficial for her wellbeing and, by extension, what is best for the whole family.

Complementarianism

The name is derived from the word ‘complement,’ and refers to the combination of two unique components that each bring their own elements and come together to make a better, more complete result. It’s difficult to explain complementarianism because it varies drastically from church to church, and frankly, it just doesn’t make much sense. Most hold the opinion that a woman may not be the head pastor of a church, but may be in leadership in another form. Some allow female deacons and elders, some do not. Some are even a “pastoral team” of husband and wife. But answer me this, If a woman may not hold authority over a man in church and teach men in church, how then can she hold authority and teach men in the home or the community? What is the community but a collection of families? How can a woman hold positions of authority over a man as a supervisor or elected official in the community if she cannot be in authority at home or in church? It just makes no sense and seems like a compromise with feminism.

What Does the Bible Say?

The most important question to ask is not what other churches or denominations say, but what God says. In the New Testament, Timothy (and several others) helped Paul establish many Christian churches in the first century. After visiting Ephesus, Paul left Timothy to pastor the young church and then writes the first of two letters, or epistles. In these letters, Paul gives Timothy instructions how to run this new Ephesian church and requirements for church leadership. Along with the previous requirements that are listed above, Paul states, “I do not permit a woman to teach or to assume authority over a man; she must be quiet. For Adam was formed first, then Eve. And Adam was not the one deceived; it was the woman who was deceived and became a sinner.” (1 Timothy 2:12-14, NIV)

To put it simply: The Bible says that men are the only ones to be in authority in church. But notice also that the Bible gives a reason, and that reason dates back to creation. It is not a question of ability, simply God’s design: “For Adam was formed first, then Eve.” Then he explains that the woman was deceived, but the man was not, “and Adam was not the one deceived; it was the woman who was deceived and became a sinner.” Clearly, they both sinned, and one could argue (as I would) that Adam’s sin was greater because he neglected his primary responsibility to lead and protect his wife. He should have kept sin out of his home and far away from his wife. But, even in his failures, as massive as they were, he was not ‘deceived’ by the devil as Eve was. He failed to protect his wife, then gave into temptation from her. But a man’s epic failure does not alleviate him from his God-given responsibility to lead.

Godhead

This role of leadership of man was established by the order of creation, man then woman, both with different attributes, gifts, roles, and responsibilities, and their love and unity bring forth a family. These relationships reflect the Holy Trinity of the Godhead: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Each have a unique role and their own individual responsibilities but are all equal in deity and dignity as God. The Father has authority over the Son and Holy Spirit, yet that authority does not diminish the value, personhood, or works of Jesus, nor that of the Holy Spirit. The same principle applies to man and woman. Because of God’s will, man has been instructed to have headship over the home and the church and the woman is to bring her attributes as a helper.

There are, of course, those that object to complementarianism and have proposed some arguments against it. Three of the most common objections to the classic understanding of this passage are listed below, along with a rebuttal.

Most Common Objections:

1.     Paul instructs this only because in the first century women were uneducated and thus, should not teach. Modern culture educates both women and men.

However, almost none of the Apostles or disciples in the first century were well educated. If education were a requirement for leadership, the Apostles and disciples that Jesus Himself chose for church leadership, who spread the Gospel to the entire known world, would have been disqualified. Furthermore, some women who were very active in the New Testament, like Pricilla, were in-fact well educated, yet were not church leaders.

2.     This was a letter of specific instruction to Timothy as the Pastor in Ephesus and should not be considered an ‘open letter’ of instruction to the entire church.

However, Paul also told Titus, who was pastor of the church in Crete, “The reason I left you in Crete was that you might put in order what was left unfinished and appointelders in every town, as I directed you. An elder must be blameless, faithful to his wife, a man whose children believeand are not open to the charge of being wild and disobedient.” (Titus 1:5-6, NIV) This is clear instruction from the Apostle Paul regarding requirements of elders and pastors (including gender) and shows Paul consistently taught this in other books and to other local churches, and as such, should be considered instructional to the entire church body.

Also note that ‘elder’ (presbyteros) is synonymous throughout the New Testament with ‘pastor’ or ‘priest.’ Consequently, all instruction for spiritual leadership for a pastor, priest, deacon or elder should be considered synonymous and have the same requirements defined by Paul.

3.     Lastly, (and the least likely as one argues that God made a mistake in maintaining His perfect Word) Paul meant to say husbands and wives, not men and women. So, the verse should ready, “I do not permit a wife to teach or to assume authority over a husband…”

However, it is clear from the context of the instruction for the church that Paul is referring to men and women, not husband and wife. It is true that the word ‘aner,’ and ‘gune’ can be used as both man/husband and woman/wife, but, as with all hermeneutics, one must read Scripture within the context of the previous and following verses, chapters, books, and within the overarching teachings within the Bible as a whole. With a basic understanding of hermeneutics, one reads the previous verses, specifically verses 8-10, “Therefore I want the men (aner) everywhere to pray, lifting up holy hands without anger or disputing.I also want the women (gune) to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, adorning themselves, not with elaborate hairstyles or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women (gune) who profess to worship God.” (1 Timothy 2:8-10, NIV) These are instructions, not just for husbands and wives, but for single and widowed people as well, all over the world. They are understood to be instructions for men and women in general everywhere. The same exact words are used for both verses 8-10 and 12-14. There is absolutely no contextual or grammatical reason to change the words within the same chapter, same book, same author, and the same audience, only eisegesis (interpreting Scripture in a way that inserts one’s own presuppositions, agendas or biases) and modern cultural influence. An honest study of the Greek is quite clear about translation: aner-men, gune-women.

Biblical Support for Patriarchs

Biblical support for a patriarchal marriage goes back to the Garden of Eden, where God says of Adam, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him” (Genesis 2:18, NIV). This is the first instance of a differentiation of gender roles, with Eve as a helper. In matters related to marriage, the Bible states, “Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” (Ephesians 5:22-25, NIV) Again, this means the husband has headship of the wife and the authority associated with that place of honor, but is responsible to lovingly lead his wife to holiness in Christ, even if it means sacrificing everything for her holiness. That’s a tall order.

As previously discussed, Paul outlines gender requirements for church leadership to Timothy (1 Timothy 2:11-13). He also writes to Titus, “Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.” (Titus 2:3-5, NIV) There is clear biblical support for complementarianism.

Biblical Support Used for Egalitarianism

The most widely used verse to support the egalitarian position is Galatians 3:28, (also authored by Paul) which states, “There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.”

However, this passage is not talking about church authority at all. When the preceding and following verses are read, you find that salvation through Christ, not church leadership, is what this passage is about. “So in Christ Jesus you are all children of God through faith, for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. If you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham’s seed, and heirs according to the promise.” (Galatians 3:26-29, NIV) The passage is simply explaining that the promise of salvation through faith in Jesus Christ is for everyone, Jew and non-Jew, male and female, slave and free. Jesus is for anyone. “For God does not show favoritism.” (Romans 2:11, NIV)

Egalitarians also point to the frequency with which women, often considered secondary citizens at the time, were included as part of the redemption plan. Notably, they say, the first person to witness the resurrected Jesus and relay that news to the disciples was a woman. However, this argument can also be used to reiterate the purpose for the creation of woman as a ‘help mate’ or ‘helper of man.’ Through woman, the world was populated. Through woman, God (Jesus) was born. And through woman, the first witness of Jesus’ resurrection was announced. None of these were women in authority, but all were used to help mankind. This harkens back to the original creation of mankind and God’s stated purpose for the creation of Eve: “a helper suitable for [man].” (Genesis 2:18) Interestingly, only three people in all of history have been called ‘helper of man’: Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit, and woman. I’d say women are in great company.

Conclusion

There are some very sensitive and uncomfortable topics regarding the home, church, and community. Social media is especially hostile to any view that do not conform to the ignorant nature and wickedness of popular culture. People will certainly not like biblical teaching on homosexuality, adultery, fornication, civics, politics, race, gender, female authority, or anything else contrary to Scripture. But speaking the truth remains paramount to being a witness for Christ, especially in the face of rising cultural change, censorship, and intolerance. Regardless of what others may say or believe, God has designed only two genders, along with the gifts and parameters for both of them, and He makes no apology for it. God’s Word is truth (John 17:17) and the human heart is full of lies and wickedness (Jeremiah 17:9). The Bible says what it says, and people will always have a problem with it. But the problem is never in what God says, it’s in the human heart. So, read God’s Word and apply it to your life every day. In it you’ll find all you need to know to find salvation through Jesus and to live according to God’s design for men, women, and the home. You’ll find your blueprints.